Late night musings of an Insomniac

Please note it's 2:54 am and I am wide awake......Insomnia has once again invaded 😩 .What is keeping my mind running wild when I should be in dreamland riding off into the sunset with imaginary prince charming??? For some reason I've been ruminating on tales of yesterday..........my mind likes to revisit those far away places that I've managed to lock in the deepest crevices.See those are the things that steals your sleep......All those things that you thought you had successfully manage to ignore throughout your dat while you are busy being "busy".As soon as your head hits the pillows,lights are off,you put down your device (s),say your prayers and finally your lashes flutter close....Surprise....Here they come....reminding you that hey did you forget about this thing you've been trying to forget?  🤔😊
   So now you have to actually reach down and pull it out of the crevice...... dust off the cobwebs and inspect it another 50 times before your eyelids finally give in and it's tucked back into the crevice we will not think of........and it starts again tomorrow. Moral of the story - It's best to clear the clutter and not save for later what can be dealt with today.

Bonne Nuit 😚
 

Be Blessed!  Be a Blessing! LOVE! 

Epiphany of 2016.

I just got hit smack dead in the head by something and I just felt the need to share.....See,I realized that I had become so cold,my heart was beginning to be hardened after the many dissapointments I've experienced.For a while I even told myself that I no longer want to forgive people for the stupid ish they do and maybe I really no longer believe in the Love Unconditional  that I have spent my years praying for.I actually got comfortable with continuously pushing people away without even allowing them the opportunity to see my most valuable commodity.I got so tired of being hurt that I no longer wanted to care about people....friendships or relationships or family. I got tired of being the bigger person...tired of having to forgive people who never even admitted to their wrongs...tired of going hard for the same people who let me down...tired of putting my heart,my peace,my life on the line for people who will never take that step for me.And so I decided to stop Loving....I decided that my heart has had enough but what I didn't realize was by putting my heart on ice,I was killing the one thing that makes me ME!.
   That happy-go-lucky, weird,funny,sarcastic,forgiving individual that wears her heart on her sleeves.....I lost that part of me for a while which means I started becoming someone I could not recognize. I don't know if you're gonna really get me but I'm legit having a moment here.Hindsight is a mofo 🤔. Coz now I see,being cold isn't me.....being hard  isn't gonna work for me....giving up on Love out of fear isn't me.. Being stuck in unforgiveness is definitely not me!.
  The only thing that's carried me through Life is the fact that God made me with this lil heart of mine to love thoroughly....inspite of....regardless of.......and if i'm being completely honest with myself i very much rather be that girl that loves too much...gives too much....does too much than allow myself to be so changed by circumstances or people that I'm no longer proud of the person I'm becoming.#EPIPHANY of 2016!.

That is all...Can you tell I'm really having a moment?? 😏 She's back.😉

Be Blessed!Be a Blessing! God bless!😚

Get out of your comfort zone!.

Hey lovies.....
  
  Coming at you live and direct from my bed with my two booskies 🐶🐻.😊 Honestly just lying here meditating on life....How the choices we make either hinder or help guide us to another path.
See I've been blessed by OPPORTUNITY many a time but I haven't always taken advantage of it.I feel that sometimes life deals you a hand and in the moment you may not realize that even though it may not be the one you were hoping for......there is always something to be had from it.I guess it comes down to looking at the glass half full or half empty. ....what I've learned is to make every single opportunity,moment,experience...something that will add to my growth.
     There was a time when all I saw were my dreams but I was stagnant...I didn't  know how to ho forward so somehow I accepted...unwillingly....that I had no choice in changing but that was my mistake.My mind is what made me stagnant.My thoughts are what made me stay still.See I do believe in a Positive Mental Attitude because ultimately that's what makes your world Colourful 🏝or Gloomy 🌫.Now I'm learning that whatsoever place I'm at I have to Move....I'm responsible for where my life goes . I'm responsible for what I learn....what I do...my capabilities are only limited by what I tell myself.Thats why I give Noone but Jehovah the power to make or break me.
   I say all this to say.....You hold the key to your life!Not another person,not your position,not your background,not your lack of degrees or finances.If you want something.. can't nobody block that but you!.So don't let YOU hold you back from being a better YOU!.
 
That's all she wrote...for now.
Be Blessed!Be a Blessing!Love!

                            Mee Mee 😘

Nobody's mommy.........

I wish people would stop asking me why I don't have a child......it's like the curse of the 30+ woman sans enfant .All of a sudden  people feel hella  comfortable telling you what you should be doing with your womb.So world let me tell you a story of a girl who's greatest dream was to be a mommy and  a wife.......See I always knew that if nothing else in this world God created me to be a mother and a partner.I didn't know who I'd marry or how much kids I'd carry but I knew my purpose was to love both thoroughly.Now I'm 32 and that has yet to change......I've changed Alot from that teenaged dreamer but my heart still beats the very same.
  See...I told myself long ago that my child/children deserved everything I've never had.....family over baby-daddy/baby-momma,Home over a shack......And so I made a choice at 24......I didn't wanna be a statistic so I chose to be another type of statistic.Now ...... I owe it to myself and my unborn child to succeed.
  ............Fast forward 2016 and it irks me everytime I get told I should have a baby....what am I waiting for.....can u have kids....why don't you just do it now.....😒 Yes I know I'm getting old....Yes I know my clock is ticking. ....Yes I know I should probably have had two by this age....YES YES YES I've said it all to myself so please understand that I've chosen to wait.BY CHOICE. Not by accident or coincidence.So please don't hold me to your standards because I have never held you to mine.One day I'll be a mommy so until then let me live my life.

         Signed 32 year old....nobody's mommy....Yet!.

Hellloooooooooooo from the other side...

Well its been 2 long months since I've graced these pages.....inconsistency is a disease!I need a cure.....🤗.Nehoooo not much new these days,just work...home...green smoothies and wine.Oh and yes it's finally looking like spring so happy is me.
     I do have Alot on my mind but I'll save that for another day.....I'm currently binge watching Mad Men on Netflix.....ps.Netflix is bae !😏 So for now....back to being anti social....I will fill these pages in the next few days with blab......😜
  Be Blessed....Be a Blessing!

                        😙 Tooooooodles 😙

Hi ho

I'm alive! 😘

Be blessed n Be A Blessing!.😙