The Lesson of Love: Part 1

Ok so on my mind this morning is a discussion I've had with myself and with others.In this first part I want to take a minute to delve into "Self Love" and as the week goes by I'll come back and talk with you about the other types of Love relationships we seek........
     Now I have to start from the root before I can get to the top.As a young woman I remember feeling unsure and uncomfortable  in my own skin,growing up I was a skinny black girl with no booty (Still ain't got much booty 😆).And we all know that black women  are "Supposed" to have a big Ole but in order to be "attractive " or "sexy" or "Black"😅.......See between the ages of 16-25 I went through many phases of insecurity about my body and my self worth and as a result of a lack in confidence in both I made some choices that perhaps had I been more grounded in "Self" I would not have made.See,what I've learned as a result is to know who I am and what I will or will not stand for and to be confident that the person I am is deserving of everything I can imagine  to be.But,when you are low on "Self".....you gravitate towards anything and anyone who shows you even for a minute anything else....and I believe it goes back to childhood,as does everything  else.As a young girl growing up,I wasn't  told I was beautiful, I wasn't  told I was loved,I didn't see any positive kind of loving relationship  that I could have taken from and mirrored in my own journey.Instead I got lost in books and my own personal view of what love looks like to me.What I saw is the type of attention  one got for looking a certain way.....now don't get me wrong if you asked me how I felt about myself I would say I was the Ish!.However I guess like every young girl at that age,the insecurities would come to visit and sometimes move in for a while.We live in a generation that is built on a certain look and a certain type of lifestyle and really no foundation that teaches our young girls how to value themselves and the majority of us are coming from a household that is lacking in that department.
    I'm not ashamed to say that once upon a time I was that young girl who settled for and did things because I didn't truly love or value myself....I mean I didn't hate myself but if you understand where I'm coming from then you know that when you grow up in a home without a father or any type of positive image of how you are to be treated as a woman by a man....You have to figure that out for yourself!.And,for some that means that we will go out looking for the kind of love that we didn't get to experience as a child in all the wrong places,from all the wrong types of men and as a result end up way more F-d up than when you started coz see,when you give of yourself,Your love,Your Body,Your spirit....it literally drains you some and you're left with a little less than you started with and remember  you didn't start with much in the beginning so if you don't take the time to actually build up yourself from the inside out and you keep giving  of Yourself to someone that does not feed you with what you truly need but simply robs you of your essence then you are left Empty!Then the cycle repeats itself because see,you were never supposed to be looking for that from someone else what is already inside of you!Do u hear me though??I believe our father created us with enough but as parents we are to help our child to concrete that type of love by showing us exactly what it looks like and then as young women we will be more grounded in our "Self" to know what is right and what is not okay to accept!.And the same goes for our young men......It's a sick cycle that has no end until we all individually come to that place of reflection and actually  want more of what we were born to have.Self worth,Self value,Self confidence......Self Love!.Because before you can even give true love to another human ,you have to first be grounded in who you are and in turn that person must be at that place as well.So I beg you....young woman,young man,grown folks who have little hearts to nurture to try to focus less on making sure your child has all the best brand names and instead  Focus on feeding their hearts and their minds and their spirits so in  turn they will feed every person they meet with "Love Unconditional " .Let's end the cycle of young girls looking for love from young boys who don't know what love looks like who then turns into grown folks raising children with no foundation to stand on and then it starts all over again..........😕.
   This was a bit heavy I know but I've always spoken LOVE  above all else because I truly believe the key to every issue is to Love first and everything else comes secondary.So why not start from the root.......water the core,prune it,weed it out so that when it breaks ground......you're  prepared to grow and feed others.That's all for now.Be Blessed!Be a Blessing!LOVE! 😙